D-Man Is Back, And He Has A F****** Announcement

Exciting rumors that had been swirling via social media became official yesterday… Zimas are making their triumphant comeback.


Scientific studies have shown that Zima was the first sip of alcohol for 69% of all millennials. I fall into that 69%. Was it a coincidience that on that fateful evening, a warm summer night in 7th grade, that my first sip of this nectar of the Gods’ was rapidly followed by my first booby grab? I think not.

Zimas debuted in 1993. Billy C was the POTUS, Jurassic Park and Mrs. Doubtfire had just come out in theatres, and the radio airwaves were dispersing the sweet sounds of Rage Against the Machine and Whitney Houston nonstop… times were good. In today’s time of change and uncertainty, it is always good to go back to something familiar and comforting… that my friends, is a cool, refreshing Zima.


I am growing sick and tired of pretending that I’m obsessed with the newest release of some microbrew’s IPA. Listen, I am a beer guy through and through, but overpriced, over-hopped beers have flooded the marketplace, and sometimes a guy just needs a fruity twist to wake up the tastebuds on a long day of drinking. Just give me my Zima, throw in a Jolly Rancher for some flavor, and send my endless sugar high/ alcohol buzz into overdrive.


The legendary return will be short-lived as it will only be available from the 4thof July through Memorial Day, but you are all put on notice that I am now a liability at all family BBQs this summer.

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